A confession: I have five requests for recommendations sitting in my Linkedin.com inbox. They've been there for a while, waiting for my attention. I'm typing this blog post having just finished composing a support letter for a long time mentee and have agreed to write another for a long time colleague.
Am I popular or what?
I fully intended to write recommendations for those waiting and have told them as much. But, let me give you some insights on how I decide who I'm going to go on the record in support of in written form and maybe this will guide you when you ask someone to publicly support you.
I break it down three ways: (1) Do they really need a physical letter of support? (2) Does it make more sense to be listed as a reference and expect a phone call? (3) Wait, who's asking and why?
For the record, I won't...
a. write a letter of support for someone who merely shook my hand at a meetup;
b. allow the listing of my name among references if I can't find evidence of your work;
c. write a letter or allow the listing of me as a reference if you ask me fewer than two weeks before a deadline;
d. write a letter or be a reference if you can't seem to write or call me back. Seriously, there have been times when I've written or called and have been ignored only to have said people ask for a letter of support;
e. write a letter or be listed as a reference if I hear through back channels that you are nice to my face and not to others. I'm not making this up.
f. be listed as a reference if my experience with you is one-way. That is, you talk to me only when you want something;
g. be listed as a reference or write a letter if you have not contacted me and I've not been given a chance to talk you out of it (smile).
However, I will...
a. write you a letter if I feel like you have been an exceptional mentee/colleague. It's very old school and highly time-consuming to craft and edit a professional letter, put it in an envelope with a stamp, address it correctly and put it in the mail;
b. put my name on your application as a reference if it is the right job for you and that job enables scalable professional growth (see "g" above.)
c. always support those with whom I have a continuing professional narrative. That is, we are *always* talking and/or writing;
d. look out for my own reputation as well as yours. We both want a reference or a letter of support to mean something. I want you to get that job. You should know me and I should know you.
Bottom line: If you haven't done your part as a professional and as a person (and bosses can find out), then any would-be reference won't support you. As for me, if I strongly believe you've carried your share, I'm all in and it will be impossible for you to get rid of me.
*Chantal de la Rionda edits this blog
