I'm going to share an e-mail I sent to a mentee a few weeks ago. We'd spent a lot of time back and forthing about whether to take or decline a job. After a while, even El Padrino wants you to make a decision. I have another posting coming that addresses another aspect of the mentor-mentee relationship.
Names have been deleted to protect the innocent.
Hi (blank)
So, I have some "tough love" thoughts:
1. This has gone on long enough. Decide what you are doing and do it this morning. All this anxiety and search for the perfect answer is starting to get ridiculous. There is no perfect answer. People do love their jobs, lives, work, careers and they take all of the ups and downs that go with it because ultimately, they want to be happy. You're sounding panicked which means your indecisiveness is mentally wearing you out and probably them as well.
2. Most people leap when offered a job. You clearly have not. Seriously, do not ever again apply for a job that you really don't want because you just might get it. It's a version of "Be careful what you ask for..." If I was the one who offered you the job I'd now start thinking that I made a mistake.
3. You're old enough, intelligent enough and experienced enough to make clear, smart choices. You're not a kid anymore. You need to start working in a full-time job and stay in that job for a minimum of two years.
5. Lastly and of less concern, this situation is also a reflection on me since strongly recommended you.
I will always support you (name redacted). Feel comfortable knowing that.
Just make a decision and know that whatever you decide you will grow with it.
Padrino
So, how would you handle your mentor telling you these things?
*Chantal de la Rionda edits this blog
